I’ve always felt the need of something I can hold on to which leads me to find the answers of bigger questions like - what is the meaning of life? What is my purpose here? In search of that I asked few of my friends what do they hold on to in their life? For some, its their father who worked day and night to provide an education to them or their mother who left her job when she was pregnant with them, for others maybe their lover who makes their life a bit merrier to expect a bright future with them and for some their unending ambitions and need to exceed their goals. This helped me in answering a more easier question than the meaning of life, it's as simple as - why are you awake today?’
For the longest time, I couldn’t answer this question for myself. The thing is, when you don’t have that path clear for you, you keep bleeding a wound which makes your existence a burden on yourself. Someone had made me realize that it's not the number of people that you have or don't have which determines your feeling of loneliness, but the relationship that you have with yourself. I’m guilty of feeling so alone and blaming it on people in my life. But you know what? There is no one to blame. No one can make you feel alone, but only yourself. I’m still struggling with this feeling on days where even though I’m surrounded by the people, I open my notes in my phone and keep writing to comprehend the reasons behind this feeling.
The above image is taken by my talented friend Vijay Sarathy. Follow him on instagram : @canvasoul
Now, how is this related to my tattoo? The correlation is simple. I wanted something to hold on to and somehow brush this feeling of being alone away. In the impermanence of life, getting yourself inked represented the commitment I had to outgrow the years of pain, chaos and disappointments I felt. Now when I started asking myself this question, why are you awake today? The answer lies in my tattoo, it's to fight for peace (it's the peace of body, mind and soul). It's said that we live in paradoxes. For the sun to shine, the moon has to descend, for me to achieve this peace, I have to fight the war of my mind everyday. But what is this war that keeps on going on? Maybe this is for the next letter. Till then, keep asking yourself why are you awake today and make it worthwhile. In the words of Friedrich Nietzchsche, “He who has a why to live for can bear any how”.
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